I sometimes wonder what it takes for someone to act so good and then find out that they had a horrible skeleton in their closet. I thought that, "by their fruits ye shall know them," was the way to know if someone was safe to be around, to love as one of your own, and trust. I guess not. I found out some things about two people the other day and it is breaking my heart. You see, my motto has always been if you have to hide it then you shouldn't be doing it. Hiding and privacy are two different entities.
So I ask again, how can you hide something so sinful and still be righteous? For and unrelated example, how can a bishop's wife have an affair with a high counselor? I knew a woman who did and her husband had to be released. How can you be so good one moment and then fall so fast without anyone noticing? Wouldn't your other behaviors change, too?
On a deeper level, how do we protect our children from people we trust when they are very unworthy of that trust? (Again this is not what is happening. These are not my skeletons to reveal.) I thought the Spirit would warn us about such a thing, but I guess not. This is all very upsetting, as you can see. I thought I had the spirit of discernment. Sometimes I still do, but not when it comes to staying away from people who have secrets that could affect my life or the lives of my children.
Let's pretend that this is all pointing to the fact that I am not a judgmental person. I am curious and socially awkward, but not mean in my thoughts or actions, at least I try. So how do we be unjudgmental and discerning at the same time? Somebody, please, help me out here.
I think there will always be a few people in our lives that catch us off guard because they are professional liars and actors. Child predators...Ted Bundy..the neighbor "who no one could believe could do such a thing- he/she is totally normal!" (hear that on the news sometimes?) I don't think we can discern evil from good all the time if we don't know the person 100 percent. Just like in the Berenstein Bear Strangers book- you can't tell a bad apple by the appearance. Sometimes you have to bite into it before you tell its rotten! But people can still turn around, so how much bad really occupies a person because of some bad choices? I don't know! And what about their ability to change?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, interesting to think about. Sorry you have had this experience of losing trust in someone. I know that is a painful thing!
Unfortunately lots of good people do bad things just like bad people can do good things. I know I've had problems of being incredibly let down by those I esteem as more 'righteous' than me. Therein lies the problem: we are all stinkin' human and susceptible to sin no matter our calling or our public personas.
ReplyDeleteAs for the power of discernment....I guess if were were able to know right off the bat who was worthy of our trust and faith then we wouldn't have many chances to grow from the times it has failed us!
How come all your posts just make me want to know the whole story?? email me the details later so my curiosity is satisfied!
hmmm... just going off my own experiences - sometimes these people are shocked to find that they have these weaknesses as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that your discernment is failing you - these people are failing themselves... and failing their Father in Heaven... failing to live up to their potential. When that failure threatens the safety of your family - then by all means stay away... but when that failure merely disappoints us it isn't up to us to judge, it's up to us to continue showing a good example - to continue being a hand of fellowship...
Again - all this is based on my own (probably not similar in the least) experience... You are the one going through this now, with the stewardship to care for your family... and we know that you will do what is best for them.