Yes, I'm Embarrassing and Strange

     I've said a lot of dumb stuff in my life.  I can laugh about it, now, and so can you.

     We were at our singles ward activity night and the guy got there early to play ball.  Since I was in charge and set up, I sat down with some friends on the stage to chat and be out of the players' way.  Their game was too distracting and a friend and I began to pretend that we were Hot Rod and Booner.  Yes, it was back in the day when Stockton to Malone was common and Hornacek could always be counted on.  Afterward one of the players heard our commentary and asked who he was.  He argued about who I was.  my response, "No, I'm Hot, so you have to be Horny."
     I thought he and I were both going to die; me of embarrassment and he of shock.

     Yet another.  This one happened in high school and was, again, accidental.  "Don't touch my bum.  That's for my special someone."  Again, I didn't live it down.

     It is well established that I am a nerd, geek, dork--the list is endless.  In school I had a thing for Gerbeau jeans worn by other people.  Of course, I didn't have any, but I was obsessed with the loop at the waist band.  I had a need to pull it.  So I went up to a guy I had a crush on and asked, "Can I pull your loopy?"  He stared at me and I pulled his loopy, then walked away.  No wonder he didn't ask me to "go with" him.
     "Going with" someone in middle school just meant that you told your friends that's what you were doing.  Well, I guess, because I never did it.  One day a guy came up to me and asked, "Will you go with Jimmy?"  I thought he was making fun of me so I said no.  He asked why and I said, "Because he's a dork and I hate him!"  I didn't really, but being bullied made me a mean person and I lashed out before it got to the point of my emotional involvement, or so I thought.  It haunted me.  So when I asked if he remembered what I said a couple of years back, he said no, so I didn't ask for his forgiveness.  It continued to haunt me until I was a senior in high school and I apologized.  I explained and Jimmy had remembered, but lied three years before to save face.   He accepted it rather well this time.  I wouldn't have minded "going with" him then.  He was really a kind young man.

     And now, the finale.  I recently met my sister's boyfriend.  He is great and I feel at peace with their relationship.  (Because it is my place to do so.  Yeah, I know.)  I had gotten something stuck to my chest and he pointed it out.  (I really appreciate when people do that for me so that I don't go around with spinach in my braces all day.)  My response was something like, "You were looking at my chest?"  Oh man!  Way to drive the guy away.  He was great about it , though.  His response:  "Meh, I look at them all day."  He is a CNA and going to school to become a physician's assistant.  Now I know he is a good man.  If he can handle me and my big mouth in a tactful way then I am all for his presence in my sister's life.