Patience

     Every time the phone rings I get a flutter in my stomach and race to the phone.  No, just a computer.  I check my email at least once an hour.  Just spam and business. I check for new texts or messages.  Nothing.  I am not a patient person and I think I blew my shot at having somthing fun to do that is for only me.  I need to refill my bucket somehow and to be able to replace old bad habits with new good ones.  I wanted this to be my chance to do it so much.  I hate being patient to only be told I was, yet again, not good enough.  Yes, there will be other community theater productions, but not for months.  I want the chance now, not months from now.  I want to be better now, not sometime in the distant future.  I am not patient.