Last night after rehearsal I watched Body of Proof. It really affected me and not in a positive way. I can usually figure out who the bad guy is in the crime dramas and this time I was fooled. A girl was murdered at a mental institution and they went to investigate. A patient told them that she was the intended target and that she was not crazy, but put there to silence her because of what she knew about her sister's murder. I bought it and believed the girl just like the M.E. The M.E. believed the girl because she was the little girl nobody listened to and it reminded her of herself. I believed her for the same reason. When you have mental health issues many people discount your opinion, placate you, or just plain don't listen to and write off. Your ideas aren't taken seriously and people\ look down on you or pity you. Very rarely are you treated with respect and like a human. I mentioned that to Trent and I received silence in return. I don't know how to take that. I have a bad habit of interpreting his silence to my attempts at conversations that have the potential to bring us closer as disapproval of my innermost soul.
My head cold is interfering with my ability to handle things well and I am having a rough day. I am emotionally raw and my head aches. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. I am so over being sick.
What a hard day! I'm sorry. I hope you get feeling better. I tend to take silences badly I think, but I have learned that I read into them more what I am feeling at the moment than what really is. If I'm feeling down on myself, I assume everyone else must be down on me too. I'm sure Trent loves your innermost soul. I love you. Get better!
ReplyDeleteLike the wise man Trent is he probably knew there was no way to answer the right way and silence was better than saying the wrong thing.
ReplyDeleteSorry you are sick and feeling down. I am sorry you feel like you aren't listened to. But on a positive note I'm excited for your theatre debut in Hello Dolly!