A Work In Progress

  Scary, I know.  This is my laundry room after several days of trying to clean it up and get it organized.  I had a really great system in place after Sweet Boy was born and it worked, sort-of.  When I got pregnant with the new little one, it fell apart and we have not recovered.  I saw the organizing Peter Can'trememberhislastname on Oprah (it is her last season so I catch one every once in a great while).  The show was exactly what I needed that day.  He put everything I already knew about staying organized in a system for this woman who had lots of kids and laundry woes and added a few tips.  It motivated me, but the cloud on my brain was still hovering.  I woke up Saturday to the mess, but felt the cloud receding and felt able to do something about it.  I worked hard all morning and some in the late afternoon organizing and cleaning this disaster.  It is much better now, but not quite finished.  The cloud descended again yesterday.  Today I feel a little better and am willing to keep going.  I will post the final product when it is finished and I am so excited for the result.
  On a strangely related note, I had a wicked dream last night about a friend.  It was totally crazy.  Her children knocked me to the ground coming out of church and when I told them to apologize to me she went off.  We started shouting at each other and then her husband ran me over with their truck.  (They don't own a truck.)  I woke up gasping and upset.  It seemed so real.  I eventually fell back asleep.  
  Alas, I had another crazy dream involving vehicles.  I was driving to the store, but having a great deal of trouble doing so.  I was finally able to park and get out of the car.  I realized I had been sitting in the back seat and that is why I had so much trouble driving.  
  After thinking about these dreams for awhile I had an epiphany.  Having a mental illness is like driving from a different seat everyday.  On the days that you wake up in the driver's seat you can drive your life.  On the days you wake up in the back seat you have a great deal of trouble even reaching the front.  It takes all your effort just to touch the ignition and you are not physically able to drive.  Many people do not understand how difficult it is because they always wake up in the driver's seat.  I told my friend about my organizing project and I felt she didn't understand how difficult it is to be in my position.  
  These dreams explained to me how difficult it is to see the situation from the other's perspective.  I feel like I owe it to people to help them understand the plight of the mentally ill.  I feel sorry for those who are in my life and have to deal with my craziness.  You love me even without understanding me.  Thank you.  Very much.  I hope this post helped us understand one another better.