I felt the need to save paper and money so I downloaded Kindle's free app for my PC. Aesop's Fables was included as an incentive to begin my new e-library. I couldn't sleep last night so I started reading. Guess which one stuck out to me: The Cock and the Jewel. Yes, mentioning this topic again may feel like I am beating a dead horse, but I need to think about it more until the message sinks in.
My sister is on a Disney cruise right now for their family reunion. She really hates airports with children. She has a runner. The buddy system doesn't work for him, nor do airports. She was lamenting over the phone while I was feeling the need to vomit. I chewed her out a little, for which I apologized, because I have never been to an airport my entire married life. She goes on elaborate trips every year (most of which are my dream vacation and will never get in a million years) while we worry about having enough gas money so that we can go see grandma for our big vacation. Jealousy reared its ugly head again and I lost it. I encouraged her to enjoy her trip anyway and look for the happy moments to remember instead of dwelling on what a hard time she will have.
So, now I need to take my own advice and enjoy my enforced down time instead of lamenting how awful I feel. Many people would love to be able to stay in bed for 12 days even if they felt miserable. I just keep thinking how much there is to do and how five kids can eat 36 corn dogs in two days.
I need to stop comparing her to the cock and myself to the owner of the jewel. Maybe I would hate travel and vacations as well if I took them all the time. It is so hard to not want what you cannot have. I need to stop being Rosalie Hale and choose contentment. Just because she is on a cruise for the third or fourth time does not mean that I do not have any blessings. Maybe if I actually got to go on a cruise, which is something I have wanted since I was 12, I would spend the whole time throwing up like I am now. Maybe my life would be the same only vastly more expensive.
Way to look back to yourself to learn lessons. That is one of the best ones- to not compare yourself to anyone else. There are myriad ways we all differ and it will never be fair. You can still go on your cruise someday- but when you have the luxury of not having to take your kids with you and they're grown.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you are still not feeling better. I seem to remember my seminary teacher telling us "Life isn't fair -- get over it". I think that, though life doesn't seem fair, at the judgment we'll feel what we are given is more than fair. There is the law of compensation. It's just awfully hard to be patient until then! I'm sorry you aren't feeling great and aren't off on a Disney cruise and then moving into a fabulous new house in St. George with a hefty bank account and children who are perfectly obedient.
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