Every Man is More Attractive in a Cowboy Hat

Just a quick side note from another post:  You can download the seminary video soundtracks from http://www.lds.org.  You can also print off the sheet music in case you feel inclinded to burst into song.  Now onto the post.

     Have you ever noticed that a dude can be really ugly, but if you put a cowboy hat on him he is suddenly a heart throb?  Why is that?  Take Garth Brooks, for instance.  He is not the most shiny apple in the barrel.  But, put a hat on him and tell him to smolder and women swoon at his feet.  See the difference?
     Before we cancelled Netflix, I watched a documentary about the rodeo and the cowboys who were tough/brave/stupid enough to participate.  They filmmakers interviewed many of the men without their hats on.  Then the cowboys were candidly filmed doing their thing.  The men that wore helmets during their rides wore hats when not on the bulls.  My, oh my was there a difference in magnetism.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not normally an Ogling Olga, but I do notice a fine piece of God's handiwork when I see one.  What is it about the shape of mens' heads that make them hotties when they wear hats?  It can't be any hat though; it has to be either a baseball cap or a cowboy hat.  But still, jealousy.
     I also find it very interesting that if you put a man in a suit coat, he also rises a few notches on the hot-o-meter.  So, let that be a lesson to young women everywhere:  Make sure you see the guy you have your eye on without a hat and out of a suit.  We can't be having our daughters be blinded by clothes and head gear when searching for eternal companions.
     You can put a man in almost anything and he will look fabulous, including graduation robes (if he isn't 200 pounds over weight and shot half his face off in a hunting accident).  Women, on the other hand, have to wear what the are assigned to wear and look awful doing it. I found it very unfair that the guys got to wear the crimson graduation robes and the girls had to wear the gold ones (they were really an ugly yellow).
     The reason I bring this up is because I am hunting for a dress to wear to my sister's wedding.  Everything I have tried on looks hideous--and it is not only because I am obese.  Designers just do not make clothes for mid-thirty-something women who have given birth.  Maybe if I were willing to spend $300; or maybe if I had more than three clothing store options, including Wal-mart, I would have more success.  My sister found a dress at DI for my brother's wedding for $6.  Whenever I shop at DI, I discover the reason the item was donated at the most inopportune moment.
     So the rant for today is why does women's fashion have to be so hard when men look good in almost everything?  They even look stunning in beat up Levi's and a ratty t-shirt.  Grrr.  Is there anything that a woman can put on, besides a corset, that will universally help us look better?  Because it certainly isn't graduation robes or skinny jeans.  I know high heels help; that is why I wear them, and because I'd be a midget if I didn't.  Is there anything that will help my rear look tiny and my face look a zillion times better?  I doubt it.  I guess I will have to resign myself to a cowboy hat, heels, and a moo moo.