Meet Judgy McJudgerton

     I realize that most of my posts lately have been about judging, but I had no idea how good I had it until I went to visit my sister.  The reason will be for the next post because that part was wonderful and this will taint that info.  She was throwing a party and my whole family lived too far away to make it a day trip so we all spent the night at her house.  Had I known the amount of stress it would cause we would have not done it.  I am always the trouble maker in the family.  No matter who is the cause, I am the trouble maker.  I hate being the black sheep and I do not wish that position on anyone.
     Needless to say, instead of helping her evening go better like I had planned I made it worse.  "Why?" you ask.  Well I didn't do it on purpose.  I had no idea how much pressure she was under to make this party perfect.  I feel so blessed that I don't care if the party is perfect--togetherness is enough for me.  Not for her, though.  I planned a surprise for the family and it could not happen because it would be the source of the straw that broke the camel's back.  She felt horrible, I felt horrible and I didn't understand why it would cause so much stress.  I tried not to have a heated discussion and just leave it alone, but because she felt so horrible she wanted me to understand and try to make it work so it blew up and she started to cry.  She doesn't cry.  She is the emotionally stable one in the family.  So, yes, I caused triple stress when I meant to do something nice.  Grrrr!  I'm over it now, but I wish that I had just understood her position in the first place and not planned the surprise.
     The reason for the stress--judging.  Not actual judging, but perceived judging.  "What will they think if . . .,"  was running through her head for months.  Is it money that does this to people?  Well, I would choose to be poor so I wouldn't have to deal with that sort of thing.  Oh wait, I already did.